• The moment you really feel like you’re a fully-fledged member of the team comes not through performance appraisal, sharing food or being given a nickname, but instead when being asked for help in a classic alcohol-plus-vomit misadventure at a leaving do. (Happy to help!)
• When someone says “hey Dom, you look like someone who might be good at Excel…” it isn’t necessarily code for “hey Dom, you look like a loser”. They might just want help with Excel.
• Everyone should have an office frenemy: someone equally willing to participate in a long-running conceit that you detest each other when, actually, maybe deep down you don’t think they’re quite so awful after all. (He is pretty awful though.)
• My voice still says ‘conservative’ to some even though I am very street and totally down with the kids, m’lord. Sadly this fails to bring the social opprobrium it probably deserves.
• The geography of Ireland, both physically and politically, is not entirely well-understood by everyone.
• Those with sufficient catering training (or just decent enough motor skills) to carry a large number of mugs of tea at once have my unwavering respect.
• And on a similar subject, tea, coffee and milk are all free and will magically restock themselves during the day. If for some reason this doesn’t happen it is more than acceptable to go on little sorties to other floors to fetch some. Just try not to get caught.
• Some people still stumble across this blog after becoming Facebook friends and naturally expect some content. So this is for you!
This is all so scarily true!