I’m Free! (Until Tuesday at least)

Yah! Exams are over and I don’t have to go back to school until Tuesday.

I’d also like to post a ‘shout out’ to Will, who told me doing this blog ‘shows I care’ about this website. Well, I wouldn’t go that far, but thanks all the same…

Yesterday I found a website owned by some loonies in the States which seemed to gather every bad idea every thought up and suggest them all. From why Harry Potter is an evil influence, to why AOL is the best ISP, why gay people should be burnt at the stake (obviously these people are quite unsure about themselves, judging by some of the other posts) and why you should need a licence for the internet.

There are others, many others, but one of my favourites is an article (I can’t believe this isn’t satire!) entitled “Is Your Son a Computer Hacker?” and gives some top tips to recognise hackers, such as ‘The safest policy is to limit your children’s access to the computer to a maximum of forty-five minutes each day,’ ‘Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers,’ ‘If your son is using Quake, you should make him understand that this is not acceptable to you’ and my ultimate favourite:

“BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War. It is based on a program called “xenix”, which was written by Microsoft for the US government. These programs are used by hackers to break into other people’s computer systems to steal credit card numbers. They may also be used to break into people’s stereos to steal their music, using the “mp3” program. Torovoltos is a notorious hacker, responsible for writing many hacker programs, such as “telnet”, which is used by hackers to connect to machines on the internet without using a telephone.”

along with a more physical description

“If your son has undergone a sudden change in his style of dress, you may have a hacker on your hands. Hackers tend to dress in bright, day-glo colors. They may wear baggy pants, bright colored shirts and spiky hair dyed in bright colors to match their clothes. They may take to carrying “glow-sticks” and some wear pacifiers around their necks.”

OK, I’d admit – this is SATIRE. And it’s incredibly well written!

Just to make clear though, the rest of that website is mostly right wing trash. Entertaining until you realise they really are stuck in the middle ages.

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