Working, that’s where, at the Queens Park \ UCL Summer School for Year 6s and 7s that I went on all those many years ago. As … what’s the job title again?… ‘assistant workers’ Tara and I are partly responsible for making sure no one gets lost, or killed whilst crossing the road, or missing a name badge etc. Hey, it’s fun, and we get paid too, of course

So it’ll be a short blog then, since I have to get up in the morning, although I wanted to tantalise you by mentioning that I wrote a script today featuring (in order of appearance) a teacher, Philippa, Nath, Nic, Josie, Lucy, Andy, Lou and Abid. It includes the words washing, leotard and burnt.

Oh no wait! I know what I should mention… Pirates of the Caribbean 2, which I saw on the weekend. Look, the only reason anyone really sees this is because they love Johnny Depp, no matter what their gender or sexual orientation, and that’s fine. That’s good. I love Johnny Depp and he is going to marry me. But the truth is, this film was just not up there with the original. Most annoyingly, they didn’t even really bother to give it an ending, and before you shout that they’re doing a big setup piece for the next film, that shouldn’t matter! Dear Hollywood, it is not acceptable to produce a film as a big trailer for the next film. If you want to tell a story, get on and tell it. If you want to make money, at least take Keira Knightley out of a half-hearted disguise as a boy but without even trying to change her voice. I’m not really down on this film – I’m actually quite easy to please and this was certainly loads of fun to watch, but it just wasn’t it. Sorry guys.

(Oh and, between you and me, the highlight of my week has been eavesdropping on a conversation between Year 7 boys discussing what an orgasm was. Lovely )

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