So, we sit. The Self family sit on the hotel balcony overlooking the sea. Each chair is positioned precisely to minimise eye contact with any other member of the family, but granting splendid views of each other’s (tanned) backs. What are we doing? Why, reading, naturally! An old French novel of epic confusion, The Time Traveler’s [sic] Wife, some Dan Brown, an issue of Nature and Finity. I’ll leave you to decide who was which, naturally.
Two French holiday-makers stroll past. Looking at us, one concludes to the other “well, they are English” in an obvious attempt to explain such eccentricity. Not, obviously, in English. But as it happens, it’s not so impossible to find non-English speaking English, and my parents happen to belong to such a niche. So there.
I felt like correcting them – “British, actually”. But I didn’t. The weather’s lovely, though.
(Apologies for the writing style, but we have honestly all been reading a lot.)
It’s high time to blog about my holiday in Russia, I think! Most of you will only be interested in the pictures, of course 
which are now live in the gallery, so go check ’em out.
And now a short(ish – I’ll try my best) diary of some of my holiday highlights and the occasional not-so-highlight:
Saturday
Flew to Moscow, and was highly amused and a little worried by the applause when the plane landed safely. Arrived at our ginormous hotel – with 25 floors and space for 3000 guests – and discovered for the first and not the last time that Russian food is not known for its glamour.
Sunday
City tour of Moscow! Though it rained a lot, and was cold, we still saw lots of cool things like Red Square, St Basil’s Cathedral and the outside of Lenin’s tomb. Mum bought socks for her poor wet feet.
Monday
We toured the Metro system – and yes, I do mean toured – because it’s incredibly artistic and beautiful in some of the stations, filled with socialist paintings of the happy happy Soviet workers in their happy happy (former) country. The Metro itself is brilliantly functional by the way – trains are advertised as coming every 3 minutes but in practice it seems even quicker, putting London rather to shame. Later we braved the fortress of the Kremlin.
Tuesday
Visited a monastery out of town, and saw a monk on a mobile. In the bus on the way, our guide told us about life in the Soviet union, and the day she became friends with a girl whose grandfather had been in the Politburo and had enjoyed an equal life slightly more equal than her equal life. We also learnt that after the collapse of the USSR you could purchase the flat you’d been living in for a minimal amount, but lost most of your money. That night we saw a Russian show and then caught the overnight train to St. Petersburg which was very exciting, and I’m now demanding that Virgin add little two-person cabins with beds to their routes immediately.
Wednesday
Arrived in St. Petersburg, toured the slightly more European city (though Moscow was already very ‘Western’), checked into the new hotel and grabbed a bite to eat. I had a hamburger. It was delicious. Toward the end of the day, however, the cost-benefit analysis of eating a delicious hamburger became clear as I started to feel ill, culminating in a bit of a bad night and…
Thursday (AKA ‘Bad Day’)
I stayed in my room all day on my own with food poisoning and a headache. If I was forced at gunpoint to rate the days in order, I’m pretty sure this would be fairly low down.
Friday
Happiness and smiles people – today made up for the bad day! We visited a palace with stunning rooms, gardens and fountains, where (hilariously) a two-man band decided to play the British national anthem followed by Greensleeves for us as we got off the bus. On our return mother and I were sitting around in the hotel lobby having a drink when we suddenly decided to head for the Hermitage. This is an amazing art collection, bursting to the seams with Picasso, Van Gogh, Monet, Matisse, Leonardo da Vinci… basically everyone, ever. Whilst mum’s tour on Thursday had only covered a tiny portion of it, today we had under an hour to run through room after room of French impressionist painting which was slightly funny in its own right.
Saturday
Surely, Saturday might occupy some high position in the gallery of crazy days. Waking up at 3.30 in the morning UK time, we flew home into Heathrow. Dad met us at the airport and drove us home where our road had chosen today to hold a street party, so everything was alive with children, food and flags. I only had a few hours to bask in this novelty of community before re-packing and setting off for Lucy’s 18th birthday gathering (happy birthday for today!), bumping into Rishal and Manoj on the way to the Tube station. So, Russia -> London -> Birmingham in one day of travelling! Lovely evening though 
and it was great to see certain people again after too long.
Phew! OK, if you’re still reading, bear with me because I’m almost done. I’m now at my aunt’s house for three days whilst she’s away and builders are in, which is a nice foreshadowing of living alone at uni I guess. Which is… less than two weeks away now! Wow! I’ve just managed to join Facebook in preparation, so come and and add me as your friend and we’ll bake some Facebook cakes together or something, yeah?
(Oh, and I almost forgot… I saw Knocked Up on Sunday. Good!)
Rollercoasters!
Happy Family Fun Time (TM)
(Never far from an unimpressed look)
I know I’m cool nonetheless
Oh, yeah, scenic views!
Erm.. ur.. alcohol?
No caption can adequately describe this
A few things about this holiday…
- We found a sweet shop, as pictured, which was the most glorious collection of sweets and chocolates you could possibly ever imagine. Eventually, I chose honeycomb, but it was a tough one.
- We played Monopoly three times. I was bankrupted first. Three times.
- We stopped for a night in Cardiff on the way back, and managed to take in Doctor Who filming locations, the Doctor Who exhibition and the Torchwood fountain thing. That’s what I call a family geek-out.
- Tasha’s iPod entertained us throughout the long car journeys, as did both parents believing Afroman to have released the popular novelty song When I Got Hot
- Wales is cool!
Well, I’m back now and apologies in advance for yet-another-Blackpool-post which you’re going to have to read. It’s inevitable when so many bloggers go away on holiday together
Keith’s welcoming nest
I arrived at Blackpool station at about 8 o’clock in the evening, fully refreshed from my fancy train sandwich meal. Unfortunately, the rest of the group were slightly less refreshed on the National Express coach, which managed to be rather late, so I settled down on a bench to read Female Chauvinist Pigs (blame Saoirse) and get slightly worried that I’d already got shouted at by some children. But then, they were shouting at everyone. Once the others (Nic, Chad, Lucy, Loretta and Max) arrived we set off in a cab to the hotel. Which Nic had already costed into what we’d paid him, because Nic is an event organiser by birth! Joined shortly after by Josie and Andy, we settled into the wonderful Applethwaite Hotel. My room may have been the size of a matchbox, but I didn’t care at all, especially with uber-friendly Keith there – the hotel manager \ future husband of most of the group.
Nic. He’s passionate.
The next morning, after breakfast (“Toast! Have some more toast!”), the thrill-seekers of the group set off for Blackpool Pleasure Beach, which was brilliant. Seriously, we thought there’d be a few rides and some stalls, but it was actually a proper theme park in there, with loads of great rollercoasters, log-flumes and an amusingly bizarre Dancing on Ice show with pretty-in-pink camp dancers. We’re tracking down the ride photo which we bought of all of us, which I’ll share when I can 
Later we drank. Some of us more than others
Gambling addicts
OK OK, well, it was only me and Lucy who were up at a 9 for breakfast on Sunday. As everyone slept in, we went off to buy Tash’s birthday present (happy 15th for today Tasha! 
and later played air hockey, ventured onto the beach, visited the waxworks and got accosted by a man trying to rope us into a stall game, which didn’t work because we’re very well aware that hand eye-coordination skills are hard to come by in us.
And another one
Sadly our Blackpool holiday was almost at an end, but we spent Monday morning being hypnotised by the sound of 2p coins at the arcade before everyone else left on the coach. I returned to the train station, only to catch an earlier train than expected and find myself in Birmingham. Well, you know that, because I told you but after blogging I was generously invited back to Lucy’s house in a surprise extension to my holiday hurrah!
Entranced by the bright lights
So yesterday we saw Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End which I agree with Andy about: good fun, incredibly complex, still not as good as the first film but happily sorting out the unsatisfying second. I finally arrived home (on the same train ticket from Blackpool – really squeezed value out of that one ) late last night, just in time for Natasha’s birthday today.
Phew, that’s it now I have to put everything away, catch up on beloved television programmes, do some revision (hah!) and get ready to go out to the theatre tonight. It’s the Tricycle again so it should be good
More photos, and in better quality than my silly phone photos, can be found at Josie’s Space and probably a thousand MySpaces by now. Enjoy!
Hellos! We’re back. Back to sunnier-than-thou weather, which is a bit strange. I know you’re only here for the (now traditional?) set of gorgeous photos so let’s just get straight to that, shall we?
We had to take this. We were in Paris!
Got to the top… lovely view…
But obviously just an excuse to pose
With unflappable hair
Historic y’know – Napoleon’s in there
Looking glam!
Carefully built to look exactly like the Da Vinci film set
Armed and dangerous
Jumpin’
Paris is really rather cultured
Or is it? I laughed so much at this
No no no idea what these are
Happy Family Moment (TM)
Todd on 2024: My Year In Books: “I know what Glass Hotel is about. It’s about a bunch of loosely connected, barely developed characters, with their timelines…” Jan 4, 17:17
