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Short of time? Next year, don’t bother to read the blog… you can always wait for the grand and over-stuffed review of the year.

January
Traditions, traditions! SexFest ’09 may have innovated by ditching pillows for balloons this year but was otherwise its usual big, bold and thoroughly mad self. The month it inaugurated, however, was unusually bumpy and stressful: Themes & Sources nearly gave all of us at uni a collective nervous breakdown, whilst Lucy and I broke up… but more of this later, in a happier month. And there were still plenty of good things, naturally! Like meeting Niamh for the first time, gathering around the radio to listen to Obama’s inauguration, Tash coming to visit and see Milk, starting political thought (yes, really ), luring others into coming to Caius formal and [drumroll, please] joining Twitter!

February
In amongst the snow, Lucy and I got back together so all was well again! (Plus I ended up trying to read Aquinas on a packed train trudging across the country.) Meanwhile in February, I was shadowed around Cambridge by an eager Sixth Former in a reversed echo of three years earlier, Oliver received his EMPEROR t-shirt (don’t ask) and we all saw the feel-good Slumdog Millionaire, plus enjoyed the second History Society dinner. Oh, and Thomas Hobbes and I like totally clicked.

March
So many lovely March evenings: Peggle and music with Abbi, vanilla tea and absurdist theatre with Sona, Crisis Control and Darkplace with Lucy, Watchmen with everybody. As term ended I finally got round to doing a lot of things I should have done much earlier, like go swimming with Abi in the pool right opposite where we lived, pin down Bill Thompson for lunch and fall in love with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Once home there was just about time to chill out in the Blues Bar – and let loose a new and improved Feed Mix on the world – before Lucy and I were off a procession of carefully timed trains to the Yorkshire countryside and the picturesque Crakehall Watermill! Whereupon, on the final day of March, I fulfilled my central aim in life by visiting a cheese factory.

April
We continued to Leeds – eating (slow) pizzas with Andy, visiting the best ‘art’ gallery ever and enjoying The Tempest – before coming home in time for me to make Robert’s warm, cosy and well-catered dinner party. In April we also crowned Oliver champion as my dream of Peggle ‘n’ Pizza became a reality, whilst I rode the DLR, got round to visiting the Lexi, took the plunge in watching Twilight and ended up quite unexpectedly immersed in a piece of pub-based theatre one night with Sanna’s family. Once term started, however, it was back to the rather less relaxed world of revision, not-doing-revision-when-you-were-supposed-to and talking-about-both.

May
In May I saw what was possibly my film of the year, In The Loop, and got more in the real-life loop vis-à-vis the ever-wonderful Sophie. There was also waffle consumption with Sanna, State of Play, middle-class Monopoly with Kat, and what was possibly my runner-up film of the year, Star Trek. Twice . Andrew’s politics dinner brought the opportunity to ask Cornelius about ‘happiness lessons’; Space Mutiny (the film of my life) brought the dastardly Kalgan and his wicked plots, whilst my mum just about reached middle-age, @billt talked code and I was executed by a pair of stormtroopers. Oh, and if that wasn’t enough, exams began…

June
…and ended, early on in June, thereby ending History Part I. (Helping us all stay alive to this point, incidentally, was the irreplaceable, irrepressible and quite incredible Heather.) One of the coolest of the many things that came next in celebration mode was seeing Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen in Waiting for Godot: awesome, naturally, but lovely also just for seeing Helen Hudspith again. And then, after the birthday meals, after my acquisition of London Underground underwear, a geeky geometry t-shirt, a Nic Parkes mug and a damn cool hat, after short films and buskers at the Lexi, Karoo Moose with Abbi at the Tricycle, Auto-Tune the News and – indeed – Part I results (2:1!) we set off for the Best Week Of 2009… Newquay!

July
So yes. After Newquay, July heralded an emotionally intense week of Torchwood, the weird and wonderful Psychoville, a trip to St Paul’s with bonus marvelling at glass lifts with Sanna, sights-we-never-expected-to-see in Brüno and Saoirse’s birthday pic-a-nic. I extended the goodness of mango beer to Owen, had perplexingly bizarre phone conversations from the top of a night bus, partied to ABBA hits at Lucy’s dinner and – very excitingly – made a pilgrimage to Cadbury World. Oh, and I won the Themes & Sources essay prize! Get in

August
Another aquarium visit was organised for the beginning of August, having been such a big hit in Newquay, before mum, Katie, Lucy and I spent a couple of days in Liverpool: home of the world’s prettiest church (or not). It ain’t summer without a theme park, however – here’s to you, Drayton Manor! – or a family summer holiday, the latter provided by Devon which also gave us a tall(ish) waterfall, scary looking sheep and the opportunity for me to understand at least 50% more references online by watching Fight Club. I also saw The Tempest, again, but with a more-awesome Caliban, and wrote my most popular blog post of the year in statistical terms (by miles) just by being a bit sarky to James Murdoch. But you don’t have to do anything very fancy to have a great time… in fact, one of my fondest memories from the summer is lying on the golf course one night in Queen’s Park, catching up with Matthew and looking up at the stars.

September
September was music month, at least by my rather limited standards. Not only did Abbi gift me tickets for not one but two gigs – Jack’s Mannequin and Twin Atlantic – but there was also Sanna’s melodious chrismation. (Sealed!) No singing in Troilus and Cressida that I remember, but that was also really, really good. Meantime, never far from food and drink, I assisted Lucy in the preparation of a delicious brunch for Abbi and her mum, got totally outclassed by dinner party host extraordinaire Andy, lunched with Philippa, snacked with Nic & Nick2 and went all over the place in the hunt for plentiful food and drink on the day of Saoirse’s rather mobile gathering. But I’m not just a consumer: I also gave blood for the first time in September, too!

October
I got a wonderful chance in early October to relive A-Level English with Ms. Rupchand and Mr. Buchanan, before it was finally time to head back to uni to begin my third and final (!) year. Having admired Lucy’s new house in Brighton I was similarly delighted with my own living arrangements, which finally put me right in the centre of town. And then it was back to work, often in my snug new Caius hoodie, albeit with plenty of distractions and interludes: the wit and wisdom of Ben Stein, the wonder of Windows 7, Merlin and True Blood, swapping halls with Simon, Chris and other Emmanuel folk, swapping blog writing duties with Sanna, Lucy coming to cook us all up a storm, the discovery of the fabled Enchanted Lands of Friendship as well as Katie coming to visit! And the perfect way to enjoy Halloween? Why, Buffy’s Once More, With Feeling, of course.

November
The Imaginarium of Dr Parnassus came and went as a little ethereal delight; Trinity, on the other hand, could have staggered for a great deal longer if Owen and I hadn’t seen sense and pulled the plug after two episodes. November was NaNoWriMo month, of course, which meant a new slice of Abbi’s heartbreaking novel each morning to read. (More heartbreak was to come with the death of Mr. Bruul, incidentally.) There were also fireworks (but no fairground rides) with Oliver and Abi, a great night in various pubs with Lucy, Simon, Chris, Rob and more and lots of Flight of the Conchords and tea with Owen. I fought (and beat) the Evil Beep Of Doom, rufffed it up at Tom’s birthday party and finally got to a Superhall and a Footlights panto as well as producing my absolute life’s masterwork in Sophie’s birthday video, which was also celebrated with an extravagantly generous meal. Oh, and let’s not forget Caroline’s CUCA dinner

December
Home, for a suitably relaxing Christmas! Well, that’s what I might have thought, although it soon transpired that my parents had morphed into crime-fighting action heroes with the scars to prove it. I can’t compete, naturally, but I can bake a chocolate cake (alright, with led by Lucy), enjoy mango beer with Sophie and neglect work in favour of parties (Secret Vegetarian Festive etc. etc.), pub gigs (snowy snowy Archway), one utterly inexplicable festive something at the Globe and, of course, Christmas itself! Geeky though it might be, let it be noted for the record that December also saw the end of Windows XP in this house: we live in the future, now Oh, and talking of which, Katie has very kindly agreed to show me the entirity of the magnificent Battlestar Galactica over the course of the next year…

Wishing everyone a quite fantastic 2010

You guessed it: it’s time for the long-established (this being the third year ) review of the year! So, what on earth happening during 2008?

January
New Year’s SexFest ’08 at Joshua’s was the biggest yet – no doubt helped by the beautiful sponsorship banners which Lucy and I created for the event. The rest of the holiday was spent with the greatest people in the world attempting but failing to play The War On Terror board game and watching the powerful film The Kite Runner. Back in Cambridge I danced to Dale’s Supermarket Sweep with Sophie and started Themes and Sources classes which, for all their stresses, did introduce me to lasting friends Andrew (“Andreas!”), Matt (“If we’re honest…”) and Caroline (“your token Tory”). But January was also a sad month: my Grandad died, although his funeral was a fitting tribute to a long life.

February
In the Cambridge bubble we had our amazingly scrumptious History Society Dinner which was also probably one of the first proper chats I had with Abi. Lucy and I had our second anniversary, Saoirse visited and was forced to sign a form at the University Library promising that she wouldn’t learn anything and I freaked a few people out (slightly) by beating myself up when the Internet was down. Oh, and I got married to Sophie! This month I also saw the crazed Stephen Green, the slightly mad Nigel Farage and the very sane Sir Richard Dearlove speak. Meanwhile, in the real world, the word ‘nationalisation’ returned to the scene: cue heady excitement and frequent pleas for the railways to be next.

March
March began with a pheromone test, dinner with mum and everyone blogging photos of their desks. Term was winding down by this point and we spent evenings playing with Jenga bricks, sonic screwdrivers and *laughs* Dungeons and Dragons – the latter clearly a singular aberration. And then I was back in London again, where a totally different kind of life instead demanded Jenga Truth or Dare, Junior Pictionary and bubble mixture. Lucy and I also invented (for ourselves at any rate) the Tube game – hurrah for South Acton! – and had The 39 Steps (not) ruined by a giant brass bar. I also went unsuccessfully ice-skating with Oliver and Abi (gulp) but danced highly successfully with Scott at Josie’s 18th. But perhaps March will best be remembered by one great discovery above all others… I speak, of course, of the mighty Peggle.

April
Ah, April, the month in which I tried my very best to get Ken Livingstone re-elected by handing out leaflets, phoning up people in Kew, pushing leaflets through doors and even persuading Saoirse to help! Meanwhile, 2008 proved to be the year of the dinner party with Abbi hosting April’s great get-together. My mum and I rekindled our geek visit tradition with the London Transport Museum and the Royal Courts of Justice whilst Lucy and I ate fudge in Stratford upon Avon. Then: Easter term began with the terrifying prospect of a mock exam quiz (thanks, Sophie!) but also the amazing surprise of Oliver and Abi’s beautiful Dalek cookies. This was also the month in which we finally all went punting together and – slightly momentously – I actually cast my first proper vote in an election. Would democracy turn out to be any good?

May
No, no it would not! May opened with the installation of Mayor Boris; true recovery from this event still eludes me even after the subsequent evenings of wine, ice cream and Doctor Who in its aftermath as well as comfort-buying a new phone. In fact, come to think of it, this was also the month that of the Sainsbury’s ID outrage, the stolen pizza (lest we forget!) and another wrong-headed final of The Apprentice. Did anything good happen? Well, naturally, as Abi and I reached our creative peak in choosing to spend our History Society budget on little badges. Yay

June
By contrast June was a very happy time: the final weeks of my first year of uni went by in a warm haze of picnics and barbecues – and the Caius May Ball was one of the most amazing nights of my life. A couple of days later it was my 19th birthday and amidst all the generous gifts was Oliver and Abi’s beautiful dartboard of hate figures, something which really touched me given all the effort that went into making it, as well as Lucy’s highly addictive Underground board game which subsequently saw much play. I also visited Worcester, went on an joint expedition to sample the delights of the Shoreham Village Fête in Joe’s village and – one afternoon on a Hampstead Heath picnic – found in Sanna and Saoirse willing companions to launch the brilliant Book Club.

July
I started an important journey in July: to finally watch the original Star Wars trilogy. Properly. And so I did, but there were plenty of other distractions too – Abbi’s Dirty Pirate Hooker Party, the Waseley Prom, Barrie Birch’s leaving do featuring memorable live teacher performances, swimming in the Hampstead Heath ponds and visiting Andrew in Cambridge for some delicious hot dogs and – naturally – plenty of wine. And those films and plays: The Dark Knight, Midnight & Magnolias at the Tricycle and ‘Best Film Ever’ The Forbidden Kingdom. I finally got my cheesy photo with Ken at the supporters’ party – bring on 2012! – and even managed to do my usual stint of work (actual paid work ) for the UCL summer school. Hurrah!

August
Aw – the family summer holiday is far from dead and this year was spent relaxing in Croatia with a week each in Korcula and Dubrovnik. This was also the month of A2 results for Lucy, Josie, Nic, Andy (and the rest!) as well as GCSEs for Natasha – all well deserved. Mamma Mia was in cinemas, Let There Be Love played at the Tricycle and Robert took his turn to host our dinner party antics. I also spent some time with Matthew – always a pleasure – and indeed ended up sitting on the curb outside a packed pub with him and Joshua one night musing about life.

September
Others may return to school but September is still the summer for me! And rather than do coursework I carried on having fun: particularly so on the night that Natasha and I cooked huge quantities of spaghetti for everyone. That evening was a pleasurable blur although Abbi’s cheese mix CD was not only much-played but prompted the creation of my own musical compilation. Over in Warwick Lucy was traumatised by a laughing tourist at the ghost experience whilst back in London The Boy With Striped Pyjamas left us all unable to speak long after the credits rolled. I also saw Die Welle and read Bad Science, the latter of which instantly became one of my favourite books.

October
Agh, the second year already! In October I moved into Mortimer Road and discovered Merlin, the SAECULUM and wordles – not to mention managing to resurrect my beloved Ready Brek from my childhood. Peggle struck back with Peggle Nights, a chance encounter with Patrick from April’s Ken campaign led me to see Henry V and Sanna came to both visit and marvel at demi-god Magnus Ryan. Plus: I had my first ultra-late-night-essay-writing-binge.

November
Perhaps in realisation at how crazily quickly time was passing there were further visitors: my parents came up for quintessential afternoon tea with Sophia and Joshua arrived to challenge Abi to Peggle duels, eat bumper portions of waffles and take me to see The King Blues for a brilliant gig performance. Of course, there was also the night in which we all stayed up to watch Obama sweep to victory – and sweet landslide victory indeed! Russell T Davies is not quite of such worldwide importance – although he comes pretty damned close – and on an evening at the National in London he graciously signed a copy of his book for me… and Natasha, and Katie. In addition – Reindeer Post was launched, Sir Christopher Meyer spoke to Peterhouse and Pride and Privilege proved perfect entertainment for me and Sophie. Oh, and on a visit to Sussex I discovered the irreplaceable children’s classic My Mates and I!

December
Winter is freezing in Cambridge and doubly so if your coat lacks any buttons – but never fear, because in the final week of term there was celebration, raucous late-night beer-fuelled singing, a visit to Newnham and Doctor Zhivago with Owen’s Russian night. Back at home, Promise – who I’d happily seen a lot more of over the last term – braved the Self household to come round for dinner. Secret Tikoloshe proved loads of fun at the Secret Vegetarian Festive Dinner before Christmas came and was as lovely as Christmas always is. And in the final few days of 2008 we saw lots of family in Suffolk – hi Julie! – and Abi presented me with yet another amazing present. How can I ever repay these people?!

Well, we’ll see if I manage it in 2009 Onwards to SexFest ’09!

You never know, if I keep doing this it might become sort of tradition – yes, it’s the yearly review thingy! Again! So here’s what happened in 2007…

January
Once again, the year began at Joshua’s New Year Party (or SexFest 07, as I affectionately named it, for tongue in cheek reasons of course) with an exciting street pillow fight at midnight. A few days later, Cambridge offered me a place hurrah! January was also the month of my new(ish) phone, Uber Ninja badges, module exams and shouting ‘condoms!’ into the dark Kensal Rise night.

February
Possibly the most enduring memory for this month will be seeing my first (and quite possibly last) ventriloquist act on stage. Though that’s not all that I saw: Frost/Nixon, Hot Fuzz and Notes on a Scandal also featured. Joshua’s 18th birthday party featured the memorable case of Robert’s missing trousers, whilst at school Saoirse was baking Communist cakes, my calculator was dealing out death and we were all casting teachers as James Bond characters. Plus: mother came to Cofton!

March
Surrounded by socialists, I bravely defended fuzzy centrist politics at an SWP meeting. They were pussycats, however, compared to Joshua’s attack for closing Quote of the Day (sorry!) which I duly did anyway. Emily had a birthday picnic, and there were various stresses at school, both personal and work-related. I still came out smiling, but perhaps I spent too much time morphing Mr Kanj into Ross from Friends.

April
History was made, as Andy Kings visited the Self dwelling to witness Holly and Hanan direct Egdar and Ms Hook in Xenophobia, a masterpiece of film set in my bedroom! (Surreal high point of my life?) Meanwhile, ‘Da Spittings ov DALEK RED’ briefly came into existence, and this blog turned three.

May
What a month: the last of the dreaded Physics Practical exams, going to Blackpool with Lucy on a holiday beautifully organised by Nic… and the Demon Headmaster I also went to see The News Quiz being recorded, as the frantic winds of exams were just about to start…

June
Friday 8th June. My last day at school. Celebrating the event with a flurry of photos and one very strange video, it wasn’t long before A2 exams started. In case that wasn’t enough, I turned 18 – with an exam on my birthday, and a beautiful shiny laptop of joy – and then it was all over. The English groups had Literary High Tea, and the country got a new Prime Minister after 10 years of Tony Blair. Everything was changing.

July
No school, and no exams! July was an odd month, but it’s not like I did nothing: I became Carolyn’s PA, worked for the UCL Summer School again and visited Chesham for the silliest of reasons. This was also the month of the final Harry Potter, The Simpsons Movie and The Complete Works Of William Shakespeare (Abridged).

August
Aw, our family holiday in Wales! I’m still not sure how I managed to get sunburnt, but I did. Once back, I distracted myself by revamping this very website (hello, orange!) before exam results came out on the 16th and I thankfully got what I needed for Cambridge. So, with that out of the way, I went to Brighton with Lucy where we fell in love with a ride, and later in the month was induced into the darkly competitive world of Trivial Pursuit. And exciting packages from university started to arrive! And we had picnics on the Heath! Life was good

September
To be honest, life was still very very good. I went with mum to Russia, visiting Moscow and St Petersburg in a week. Soon before, I’d seen Regina Spektor live in concert via Lucy’s birthday present, which was an amazing night. There was a Cambridge party for Freshers, and some even better goodbye parties: most of all in Camden, drinking mango beer with wonderful people. And then, at the very end of September, I left.

October
My first month at uni Filled with meeting new people, trying to get unpacked and – for the first time in months – work! I loved it, though, and was very busy but in a nicely directed way. I only left for one night, to attend Troy’s wedding, which was also lovely to be at!

November
And so term continued in a fast-paced blur: I went to see Lord Levy and Martin Bell speaking at the Cambridge Union, and also went along to debates on the Middle East and comprehensive education, the latter from which the image of Peter Hitchens has been permanently seared into my brain. Us Historians went out for birthday meals, threw juggling balls at each other and generally avoided the notorious 5th week blues until suddenly it was the end of term already!

December
Hurrah for short terms I returned home at the beginning of December, and threw myself into seeing people: Joshua was back from the jungle with exciting tales, and there was another night out in Camden; I stayed overnight at Rishal’s in Leicester, and also to the Wesley Waseley Sixth Form Christmas party… it was busy! There was also deep sadness at Kelly’s funeral, but with people that I’d also missed seeing, and I’d even missed seeing the school which I managed to sneak back into once or twice. Once again, I had a wonderful Christmas… and Joshua’s New Year’s party is only days away!

Wow, what a year bring it on, 2008!

In the interests of reflection, here’s a my life in a year sorta thing, the big question being ‘which huge events have I accidentally forgotten?’…

January
2006 began at Joshua’s New Year Party. GCSEs seemed rather far away as I had my first AS exams in English and Physics (as well as ICT, quickly forgotten). The good people at Waseley sent me a mysterious package packed with stuff, which led to the wonderful ‘Gold Hat’ movie Katie and I put together.

February
New York, New York! February was rather packed actually. Aside from the Big Apple, I also went punting in Cambridge during a Shadowing Scheme and managed to finally ask Lucy out, narrowly missing Valentine’s Day. She said yes, by the way

March
Our beloved pet Tom Cat died in March but in happier news I got my grades from the January exams, including a B in the ‘misery and despair’ exam. The RV crew also visited London, making them all the more real to me! In fact, I ended up meeting Josie again the next week in Oxford with Lucinda. March was also the month of the infamous ‘A and two zeros’.

April
My sisters became Maths Coursework stars. Quote of the Day launched. My blog had a birthday. Series 2 of Doctor Who began, properly. The Physics practical exam started to loom large in my mind, and I achieved a lifetime ambition by going to see Have I Got News For You being recorded. Huzzah!

May
I had my first taste of fame in May as the wonderful Mr. Nash set questions about this very blog as a piece of Year 9 homework. My Physics practical also went well in the end as did my other exams which began in May. And then we went off to Paris for a few days during Half Term! London, Paris, New York… lovely

June
RaVe! OK OK, so I finished the last of my AS exams, had a birthday, and got to meet Tony Benn. But RaVe was the defining moment of June, after a nice send-off to Ruberyvillage, as I brought Joshua and Fabio along to sleep in a tent in Nic’s garden. Oh, and the police shut the party down at 10pm!

July
You should all be delighted to know that I did a little bit of work in July, you know, with money and everything. Although to be fair it was at the Queens Park \ UCL summer school, which is why I carry around a ‘UCL Library Services’ card around in my wallet to this day. And I turned up in Cofton Hackett unannounced, because Lucy doesn’t like surprises.

August
Ah the long summer holiday month. The girls went off to Tanzania, while Dad and I stayed at home with a bit of Birmingham \ Suffolk in between. It was lovely I also got a new phone *sniff* which didn’t last long. Ooh and I got my AS results! Which prompted the crazed decision to carry on with Physics through A2…

September
The 39 Steps was probably the highlight of my ‘culture’ this year, at the Tricycle. Politicians also began to please me, with the unveiling of plans for the London Overground and Gordon Brown mulling NHS political independence. In sillier news, another lifetime ambition was fulfilled with ‘Ricky’s Cry For Help’ giving me my long-sought appearance in B3ta.

October
The long running and often traumatic university application process was over (sort of) as I sent my applications to read History off to UCAS. It was also lovely to see Catherine again at her 18th birthday \ housewarming party. IE7 was released, finally, and I rode Stealth at Thorpe Park. Excitement. Oh, and I had smiles added to my homework diary.

November
Traditions were started (the return of Quiz Night!) and traditions were ended (Dominic’s abandonment of the coach for the train). I wore a suit, and tie (and tie!) to my grandparents’ surprise 50th wedding anniversary party in Dorset. Shockingly, I got MySpace and the conditional offers started to trickle in…

December
…but the big beast was yet to come, with my Cambridge interviews in December. I still don’t know if they’ll offer me a place or not, but it they seemed to go well, and I’m glad I had the experience in any case. Talking of experiences, I’d never have predicted a tornado striking Kensal Rise, as it did, coming perilously close to my school. Picking Christmas presents was a bit of a gamble this year, but I think it paid off and Joshua’s New Year Party will round the year off as it began!

Looking forward to an interesting 2007, to say the least Will A Levels finally crush Dominic’s optimistic spirit? Will he pack his bags for university or dropout and roam the streets looking for food? Will this website finally get a redesign? Let’s find out…