dom.blog

I have decided, on an unusually light homework night, to compose a thoroughly incomplete list of my most commonly accepted conceits, quirks, typing convenions… etc. Why? I’m not sure, but it might help people understand what on earth I’m talking about at times These aren’t things I’ve invented, just assimilated!

1. Sex was invented in 1963 (Source: Philip Larkin). It is a matter of considerable debate what happened before then, but rest assured, it was pure and innocent of the highest order and may well have involved storks.

2. There is an Invisible Pink Unicorn (Blessed Be Her Holy Hooves) whose existence is unquestionable.

3. Grammar and style is very important, except in certain phrases, especially greetings. How is you? How be thee?

4. If I type *in stars* is either means an action (*waves hands!*) or *emphasis*. Or both. Why use the same symbol when [uses square brackets for an action] could eliminate all confusion? Good question.

4. a) Don’t confuse this with a single star! That’s to correct mistakes in instant messages. Example:

Dom: I blog to much
Dom: *too

(What happens if the mistake itself is the lack of a star?)

Dom: Well done 8claps*
Dom: **

Makes sense? Good.

5. If I say “I’m going to have a barth” it’s not a typo. It started when I got mocked from ya lot up North for pronouncing bath with ‘invisible rs’ (truthfully it’s a broad A, but I prefer annoying linguists). So now I type it like this to remind people

That’s it for now, methinks Mmm… I want to see other people’s versions of this. Get blogging, and that’s an order!

Appearing in my inbox today:

Young Dominic u maybe wise amongst your years but i doubt it has dawned upon you that ur actions will lead to ur downfall.I urge you to reconsider what can be for more then pride it stake here.I talk about segregation but look deeper within that context find a meaning that is only significant for u.If u look to understand then you will only be confused, this is not a task that requires the mentality of ur mind yet it is ur heart that will eventually conquer all.This fornication of sin is but a suggestion in the realms of the mind thus it is vital that i reinforce that idea, u r the chosen Dominic , fate now lies in ur hands.

So says someone at least! Thank you kindly for the e-mail (Morpheus?), I’ll certainly take the red pill, but where exactly am I going to fall ‘down’ from? Is Alex going to become the best loved blogger or something? Oh.. no wait.. he already is

Ooh it’s one of those days where we’ve got PC5 blue-screening on one side, the phone line playing up on the other, and I’m trundling around with a portable hard drive doing a long overdue backup. So I’ll pick this little slot in between ‘lunch where egg got thrown over me’ and ‘going to grandparents’ to blog!

Way back on Wednesday I saw Fabulation at the Tricycle Theatre with the school. Which was, as I’m sure you’re bored of me saying by now, fantastic because the Tricycle always is. Although I should mention that when someone’s phone goes off in the cinema, it’s very annoying; when it goes off in the cinema, they should probably be executed. My heart did warm to people saying that they ‘didn’t know you could swear in the theatre’, hehe

I also travelled to land-of-joy-Birmingham on Friday staying the abode of La Kings again which I felt cheeky for – but it is really really nice, and you get proper breakfasts! Aside: waiting at Barnt Green station I decided it didn’t count as graffiti if you did it in moisture, and proceeded to write the formula for integration by parts on a window. It also seems the next day that the world was converging at the Bullring – not that we knew it at the time, but I was there with Lucy, Josie and her sister Kathryn were there, Josie’s stalker was there, Pingu (Pingu!) was there… spooky. So if you weren’t at the Bullring on Saturday afternoon… why on earth not?!

Oh and finally I dashed home to listen to [drum roll] Babble Radio Night! Which was a musical extravaganza lasting till 2 in the morning and featuring the wonderful talents of Nic, No Name Toony, GG, Nathan and Reverend Pingu. Congrats to all

Edit – Weren’t able to listen to Babble Radio Night? Catch No Name Toony’s No Name Show at GG’s Podcast who is running GG’s Podcast Live next. Well worth a listen!