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What happened was this: drumroll, flames, hush, uplifted cake knife but, before it could descend, came a tremendous knocking at the front door. TREMENDOUS. Such a knocking that the birthday candles dipped and swayed and dropped wax on the chocolate tiles; the bough of lilac tossed, scattering nodes of bloom; the very parquet underneath us started to tremble, about to rise up.

A thrill ran through the room. Something unscripted is about to happen.

I first remember meeting Jimmy Buchanan after a couple of weeks of A Level English. We’d all been set Angela Carter’s Wise Children to read and were hopelessly lost and confused, so he was parachuted in to set us on the right track. He would take passages that we’d puzzled over, tried and failed to dissect, and just read them to us – but read them with such booming enthusiasm, his perfect stream of consciousness delivery, that for the first time we’d sit up and take note of the big bloody obvious thing we’d been missing: it was hilariously funny.

He was that kind of teacher – the utter maverick, so completely impossible to imitate – never safe and dull. Through his teaching he passed on joy for the literature he loved. Long after I’ve forgotten so many lessons from school, I can still hear Mr. Buchanan utterly glorying in Othello, pausing whenever Roderigo appeared on the page to remind us all, once again, just was an idiot the man is. He would shout this, by the way, like he would shout many things: swearing liberally, because the rules that applied to other teachers just didn’t apply to him. (I’m pretty sure that teachers aren’t supposed to grab you just before you sit down for an exam, loudly wish you luck and kiss you on the forehead, either. He did.)

It was so appropriate that he made a point of insisting I read magical realism, because at times he felt like a magical character himself. He seemed intimate with any cultural reference that came up, like he had been there himself, and threw out hints to a colourful and vaguely mysterious past. On the New York trip, as we walked around one night, his voice dropped into sombre tones as he recounted the people in the neighbourhood who had died from AIDS in the 1980s. In class, he once scoffed at me for praising Transport for London (corporate, professional, controlled) because it was nothing like the good old days of London Transport (friendly, ramshackle, slapdash). Angela Carter’s death seemed like a personal loss to him.

I was always particularly jealous of his class, because while the rest of us had to sludge through the dreary evangelism of William Blake, he had demanded (successfully, of course) that his class study Byron’s Don Juan instead. Why have plodding sentimentalism when you can have an epic adventure, satire and swashbuckling tales instead? That was him all over. And he was fiercely opposed to euphemism. No one passes away at the end of Hamlet: “they all get deaded”. Cue wicked grin and a broad laugh.

I totally loved him. Everybody did. There must be so many students with their own stories and memories of him – people who got to know him much better than I did. But he was always pleased to see me again, after I left, as I’m sure he made an effort to remember so many faces he’d taught over the years. It was a real privilege to be one of them.

Jimmy Buchanan, in New York

I’m taking a break from reading about the tabloid press in 1992 – because it’s deeply depressing me – to react with amusement at the latest issue Queens Park News. Yes, I am still the happy recipient of these school missives, and I have to say I do honestly think this is one of the better designed bits of communication in recent years:

Enterprise Skilz

What Saoirse would make of this I dread to think, I really do. However, it is a good question – just how far am I taking my ‘enterprise skills’ after leaving school? Let’s see now…

A ‘Can Do’ Attitude – very much so. I could get up this morning (eventually), even though my bed was comfortable and warm.

Leadership – bit of a let-down on that front today I’m afraid. But there’s still many hours of the day left to go, so I’ll endeavour to find some people to lead.

Team Work – afraid this has also been a bit lacking today: I’m starting to feel a bit of a failure actually.

Respect for Evidence – aha, yes! Now here we go – by reading and carefully making notes from so many books and articles, I think I am demonstrating the most steadfast respect.

The Ability to Plan – before I went to the library, I planned which books I would take out and where to get this from. Box ticked.

Responsibility – absolutely. After cutting my cheese sandwich in slices, I carefully placed the sharp knife back in the cupboard rather than waving it around like a demented madman.
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I’m just back from a final trip for the wonderful A-Level English classes of QPCS: a ‘Literary High Tea’ featuring readings (for those of you interested in this sort of thing) from Kate Ansell, Jeremy Sheldon, Heidi James and Toby Litt. (Way to go for having a proper website, Toby! ) It was great fun, and having the presence of mind to take along a camera (for once) I will now present snaps for your delectation and delight:

I won’t lie, the hotel was rather nice

We brought the tone down

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The Most Conclusive and Memorial Exam-O-Meter!

This is probably the most arbitrary exam rating I’ve done of the lot: on the one hand, objectively, I probably didn’t do that well, all things considered. However, since I had pretty low expectations anyway – it’s Physics, not to mention the dreaded Synoptic unit – I actually rather enjoyed it, in a strange sort of way. I managed to show the units were homogeneous, for the very last time! And I also thought – yup, if things had gone differently, if Physics had been life-or-death for me, I could have done this ‘properly’, and that means something to me.

Anyway – exams are all over now, and I am ‘free’ of school! Though Ms Hook already wants me back to do summer school work but heh, I get paid, so it has a different ring to it

Best of luck to those with a few exams left! In fact, best of luck to everyone at any stage of school. Make the most of it and have fun…

I was determined to get something posted before midnight, so I can say I made at least one official 18th birthday blog post today!

So give it up for the Exam-O-Meter:

The Most Celebratory and Magnificent Exam-O-Meter!

Yay! It turned out to be an absolutely gift paper, with my chosen Hamlet question being on, ur, audience sympathy towards Hamlet himself, and the dreaded Blake question on his thoughts and feelings towards nature. Perfect! Honestly, the questions could not have been any more ideal and I hope I did them justice!

Stay tuned for the proper birthday blog, coming soon…