Domdi Wedding

reddalek

Hi!

Game for budding private investigators: match the wedding guests to the past few two decades of blog posts
Game for budding private investigators: match the wedding guests to the past few two decades of blog posts

On the off-chance you weren’t there last Saturday, Randi & I successfully got married – again! – under a sunny sky.

Which poses a dilemma.

Most of the time, this blog is an exercise in the preservation of memories which would otherwise be lost. I do something fun, and then I hastily throw some words and pictures together before it all slips into a haze. But, quite wonderfully, with a wedding that’s somebody else’s job – and at some point in the next few months, long after Randi and I have both completely re-entered normal life, our professional photographs and videos will arrive to bring it all back.

The Hora!
The Hora!

So, for this blog, I’m officially taking the day off. I won’t try and recreate our morning walk to Lyde Court, hands held, both wearing the same Settlers of Catan t-shirts from our first Chicago marriage and both trying to slow down our natural city walking paces for the benefit of getting a good shot. I’ll skip my thanks to Cora for being the best distraction as I hid in my little attic room after getting changed, or won’t tell you how shocked I was when Randi’s mother got one of the questions about her own daughter wrong during our mid-ceremony audience quiz and held up my face on the voting stick.

You’ll have to imagine for yourself the pure mixture of joy and terror which a Hora generates, and maybe you wouldn’t even believe that – between the main course and dessert – we snuck out of the venue entirely to go on a mad dash for the sunset with our photographers, speeding up and down the fields of Herefordshire on the back of a tractor buggy until we were high above the spot where, just a few hours earlier, we’d stood before everyone, said our vows and exchanged our mutually owl-themed but entirely surprise gifts.

Last wedding day glimpse
Last wedding day glimpse

Seriously, it was amazing – and the waves of joy and love and goodwill which keep coming at you during your own wedding are quite overwhelming to even vaguely sketch. So, instead, let’s do something which won’t make the official wedding album and preserve some memories from the other days of the last few weeks…

Randi had breathed a sigh of relief every time we had word that someone else’s flight had successfully landed in the UK, but the first people who made it to us – aside from Randi’s parents – were Mark and Linda Moffitt, who emerged incongruously from Forest Hill station and joined us for dinner before venturing up Blythe Hill for the nighttime views. A week later, we hosted a small group of Randi’s extended family for a really lovely pre-wedding get-together at our place, after which I’m even more desperate to spend a few hours with her uncle Eric following-up on the genius/flaws of the US Constitution in the corner of a pub. (Or a bar, or a saloon, or whatever they have in Texas.)

The next day we spent the entire day with Catherine and AJ, along with AJ’s parents Amy & Scott who – very generously – came along for the ride so there would be extra hands to look after Catherine and AJ’s beautiful, globetrotting baby. (Amy & Scott also looked after me by sharing some pints while AJ worked and Catherine and Randi got their nails done, which was also very much appreciated.) In retrospect, this day became even more magical and special to us because – despite making it much, much closer to our wedding than we did to theirs – they were hit by sickness at the last moment and weren’t able to make the day itself. If any future generations find our wedding albums and conclude we can’t have been good friends: we are! Don’t judge us by the wedding day photos, judge us by the quantity of food we ate together at Dishoom two nights before.

The cast of some mad crime caper
The cast of some mad crime caper
Randi modelling both her nails and train ticket stash at the same time
Randi modelling both her nails and train ticket stash at the same time

One of the best things about the whole wedding process were the things which started as jokes and then became a reality. Exhibit A: let’s handle tickets for all the Americans going to Hereford on Friday and form a party train!

I can’t tell you how much joy it brought me that we actually made this happen. Apologies to anyone else in carriages B or C on the 11.50 from Paddington to Hereford: you weren’t imagining things, it was definitely louder than usual, although I’m told that Beth successfully bought off her carriage with leftover prosecco and sweet treats from Carmelli Bakeries. Special shout-outs to Abbi and Rob – who as non-Americans found themselves in our carriage by coincidence – and to Simon and Fleur, who could have done but ran away to First Class instead.

Some of our highly organised crowd outside Paddington
Some of our highly organised crowd outside Paddington
Anna, Cora (flower girl!) and Josh (Best Man!)
Anna, Cora (flower girl!) and Josh (Best Man!)
Very much the rowdier carriage
Very much the rowdier carriage
Our natural habitat
Our natural habitat
Gilly & Stu
Gilly & Stu

After a few hours of stressful but self-imposed ‘rehearsal’ time at the venue – hey, at least we got all the stress out the day before? – we made it back to Hereford by the evening for a really, really wonderful party at Gilbies organised jointly by our mothers. Not only was it so joyous to have a chance to relax with our out-of-country guests before the big day, but all of the staff were so kind, cooked so much great food and, in particular, wowed the American crowd with the deliciousness of halloumi sticks. And all because Beth fell in love with the gin when we first took Randi’s parents here on last year’s Hereford trip!

Increasingly surreal combinations of my favourite people
Increasingly surreal combinations of my favourite people
And still warm enough to sit outside
And still warm enough to sit outside
Playing with Bernie
Playing with Bernie
Happy Selfs
Happy Selfs

Insert cinematic skip forward in time

Somewhere out there there’s a photo of me taking my first sip of tea on Sunday morning, shortly before tucking into the cooked breakfast I had always dreamed of when we first found a venue able to host so many of our guests overnight in bunk bed dormitories. Fortunately, Randi was still sleeping by that point – I say fortunately because, after heroically holding off sickness for the entire wedding day – by the next morning it had caught up with her, and she needed lots of rest plus an emergency Premier Inn booking for that night in Hereford because there was zero chance we were going to make it onto a train back to London. (Side-note: we stayed at two Premier Inns on this trip, and everyone working there was insanely nice.)

Obviously getting sick sucks, but there were some positives about getting an extra day in Hereford just the two of us, especially since she had basically fully recovered by Monday morning and we could enjoy a long walk around the city before heading home. I think we were also both exhausted, since I managed to get a mild fever later in the week and spent many daytime hours sleeping at home. Note to past selves: you were very wise not to book a honeymoon for the week immediately after the wedding. Thank you.

Breakfasting with Bill. The rule was that only Randi or I could be sick at any one time.
Breakfasting with Bill. The rule was that only Randi or I could be sick at any one time.

Despite all this, when we weren’t sleeping we still managed to do a lot of hanging out with people who were still in London over the next few days! On Monday night we ordered Indian food with the Dietzs, Toggolyn, Jason & Carrie (who don’t have a snappy couple name) and Angela, which was really fun. Plus, Bernie and Grant were such big fans of the model 52 bus in our kitchen that they had to take turns. The next evening, we got a chance to show Randi’s brother Alex our flat for the first time walking to East Dulwich and enjoying some khachapuri together.

Celebrating Grandma's 90th
Celebrating Grandma’s 90th

This week was also my Grandma’s 90th (!) birthday, which we celebrated not once but twice, and with a very large number of cakes. Beth, Stewart and Alex were still in town for celebration #1 so, although my Grandma wasn’t able to make it to the wedding, she did get to spend time with Randi’s family before they left for their own European adventures.

Meanwhile, Randi and I spent a touristy morning with Jason and Carrie walking around London on Thursday – including an odd detour into an NFL Super Bowl exhibition – and, finally, were delighted to have the chance to take Todd out for dinner on Friday night as a small thank you for the massive role he played at our wedding. On that rainy night we were the only people in the Ethiopian restaurant, which felt more like the cosy living room of a travellers’ inn, and was the the perfect place to relax and reflect. It’s been a long few weeks, but I’ll remember them for the rest of my life… blog or no blog.

Thank you for marrying us again, Todd!
Thank you for marrying us again, Todd!

Studies of flashbulb memories – your memories of hearing about major news events – show that even though people remain very confident that their memories are accurate, their actual stories change dramatically as they get further and further from the event. So, as an experiment, I want to put in writing that confirmation of Queen Elizabeth II’s death on Thursday came to me as a BBC Breaking News alert – as I was midway through writing a message in one of our family WhatsApp groups – while crossing the car park area between the Waterlink Way and Catford’s two railway stations on a post-work evening walk. There – done – and now we can revisit this in a decade and see if I’m still sticking to the same story.


At the summit of mini-hike #1
At the summit of mini-hike #1

Back in March we were thwarted in our attempt to visit Katie in Glasgow, but on the August Bank Holiday weekend we succeeded on our second spin of the Wheel of Fortune (Scottish Cities Edition) and had a lovely long weekend with her and James in Edinburgh. Hurray!

Obviously everyone else visiting Edinburgh that weekend was there for the final days of the Fringe, and we did go see a handful of shows – more on those in a bit. However, given that the weather was so nice, our priority during the daytime was to go on some mini-hikes, admire the city from suitably high-up and (at least for me and Katie) distract ourselves from the climbing with lots of hypothetical would-you-rather-style questions, although I’m not sure that James or Randi were as enthused as we were.

We were all very impressed by this guy the next day
We were all very impressed by this guy the next day
Katie and James on the uphill section
Katie and James on the uphill section
Reaching the top!
Reaching the top!
Falling off the edge
Falling off the edge

But yes, alongside the hiking, the dodging of uncollected rubbish during the city’s bin strike (which, to be honest, only added to a festival atmosphere) and a failed attempt to acquire khachapuri, we loved the atmosphere of the Fringe and we especially loved the first show which Katie had booked tickets for us in advance: Shamilton, an improvised Hamilton-esque hip-hop musical about a public figure nominated by the audience at the start of the show. This was an extremely similar vibe to the Improv Shakespeare which was our favourite thing to take people to in Chicago, and the all-American cast did a superb job after the audience landed them with the life story of Nicola Sturgeon. I felt very sorry for them at the beginning as they tried to read the room, quickly realising that this was potentially dangerous political terrain, and still pulled together an amazing performance which (I think!) everyone enjoyed. As Randi says, it’s just so rewarding to watch people on stage being both incredible at what they’re doing and clearly enjoying themselves too. I will go see this again whenever I get the chance.

The next day, Randi, Katie and I saw another improvised show – this time with a Doctor Who theme! – which had a more gentle, family-friendly vibe. More silly, less sharp, but still very enjoyable to see the first (and last) performance of The Last Turnip set in the thrilling confines of Killington Lake Services on the M6. Afterwards, the three of us felt we had one last Fringe outing in us and blindly picked Jolly Boat’s 10 Songs for Geeks on the basis that it was (a) free, and (b) starting in a few minutes nearby in the basement of a bar. This was the perfect way to wrap up our brief Edinburgh experience and felt very authentically Fringe: a pair of brothers singing about D&D, Game of Thrones and Harry Potter to a happy, drunken crowd of nerds. Bonus laughs came from the unplanned comedy callback of the “battery low” and later “battery critically low” warning messages on the laptop they were using to project until for the final few songs it gave up the ghost altogether.

Queuing for our Doctor Who improv
Queuing for our Doctor Who improv
Last-night-of-the-Fringe pizza
Last-night-of-the-Fringe pizza

Even though Randi and I are supposed to be planning a wedding in, ooh, less than two weeks, the following weekend we still took time out to travel all the way to Amersham in order to ride part of the way home on a 1938 stock Tube train. (Sadly this sub-genre of nerdiness did not make it into Jolly Boat’s Fringe show, but maybe next time.) Promoted by the London Transport Museum as the ‘art deco’ Tube train, it is just quite charming to ride along in something which is obviously antique (just look at these delightful wooden panels) but also still immediately recognisable as the Tube. We also had a good wander around Amersham beforehand, which boasts many great lunch spots and (unrelatedly) also the world’s most aggressive anti dog-fouling signs.

Our special service arrives in Amersham
Our special service arrives in Amersham
On our ride home
On our ride home
Not super-tempted by the Inner-City food options
Not super-tempted by the Inner-City food options
Travelling home from London Loop 1 Revisited
Travelling home from London Loop 1 Revisited

And yes, of course we have also been busy on the final wedding preparations – as Tash knows from having lunch with us amongst the dinosaurs at Crystal Palace Park on Saturday – with perhaps the strangest part being the collection of 38 paper tickets for the train to Hereford. As a reward for our productivity, however, today we treated ourselves to the opening section on a fresh rewalk of the London Loop (carrying a guidebook this time, like real walking pros) followed by the season two finale of Succession once we made it home again from Bexley. The first part of the Loop is certainly not the prettiest, but we’ve missed our long Zone 6 walks.

As trailed in my last post, we spent last weekend in Valencia to link up with Randi’s uni friend, Mike, on his post-Bar exam holiday to Spain. Spoiler alert: it was lovely!

Ready to begin our Valencia education
Ready to begin our Valencia education

Despite it being a quick trip we managed to pack a lot in, starting (for me at least) with a walking tour of the city centre on Friday morning. Our guide was great, and – in my personal favourite moment – did not seem fazed when Randi decided to clarify whether all of his references to the church’s statue of “our virgin” actually referred to the Virgin Mary and not, y’know, some local virgin. Close runner-up favourite walking tour moments included the history of the still-functioning Water Court of Valencia (which is both considerably older than the US Supreme Court and much more sensibly selected) and how the old course of the Turia river came to be turned into a public park. I actually remembered this fact from a Jay Foreman video (thanks, YouTube!) but I wasn’t aware of the government’s Plan A for the river’s replacement: a giant multi-lane motorway. I think Randi and I shuddered in exactly the same way.

Welcome to Valencia!
Welcome to Valencia!
People get bored of me saying how pedestrian-friendly city centres are, but it's true
People get bored of me saying how pedestrian-friendly city centres are, but it’s true
The park which was once a river and narrowly avoided motorway doom
The park which was once a river and narrowly avoided motorway doom
Remnants of tapas
Remnants of tapas

Although it may not feel like we live in the multiverse’s best timeline right now, at least we do live in the world where Valencia has a long park rather than a long road, so the next morning we took advantage of this fact and walked through it down to the City of Arts and Sciences. This open-air complex is quite hard to describe – so perhaps just look at the surfeit of photos below – but essentially it’s like stumbling across the headquarters of the United Federation of Planets, with a cluster of culturally worthy institutions linked by open walking areas and glistening reflective pools of water. All of the buildings share a stunning modernist architecture, and I really do mean ‘stunning’ in the sense of ‘stunningly good’ rather than the stunningly awful 60s British modernist buildings made of concrete. (Dear British architects: why couldn’t we have done this instead? Is it the weather?)

The sign. Everybody needs a photo with the sign.
The sign. Everybody needs a photo with the sign.
Casual sculpture in the pool
Casual sculpture in the pool
Randi's very proud of this photo
Randi’s very proud of this photo
We were all big fans of the Ciudad de las Artes y las Ciencias
We were all big fans of the Ciudad de las Artes y las Ciencias
I think we got more joy out of the Metro train/tram combo than Mike, though
I think we got more joy out of the Metro train/tram combo than Mike, though

Our ultimate destination in the complex on Saturday morning was the L’Oceanogràfic – Valencia’s aquarium – where we dedicated a solid morning to staring at the pretty jellyfish, watching the dolphin show, sadly not coming anywhere close to the top in the pre-show dolphin quiz aimed at 8-12 year olds, holding our hands up against the penguin ice block and, relatedly, regretting holding our hands up against the penguin ice block. Then, in the late afternoon, it was beach time! Reader: the sea was so warm. It’s been so long!

BEACH!
BEACH!
A short but sweet trip
A short but sweet trip

This would have been a great trip in itself, with only minor disappointment at my failing to secure any Agua de Valencia (gin, vodka, cava, orange juice) at our slightly-too-snooty-for-cocktails tapas restaurant on Friday night. Fortunately, help was at hand on Saturday night, because – by fortunate coincidence – Randi’s ex-colleague Sam also happened to be holidaying in Valencia with her friends at the same time we were there, and they were extremely on-board with the plan to go for dinner and then touristy drinks together. We all bonded immediately over the challenge of finding a vegan-friendly restaurant – and massive kudos to Randi for having an American’s instinct to bail out the indecisive Brits from the first not-vegan place we sat down in by paying our €12 water tab and getting us all out of there again – and then afterwards we finally found a bar willing to provide jugs of promised Agua de Valencia. Hurray!

Oh, and since you asked, Metrovalencia is a very nice transport system. This summer it’s also free to ride every Sunday, so many thanks to the man who stopped Randi and I from throwing away money trying to top-up our cards on the way back to the airport. And thank you to Mike for letting us crash your Spanish trip for a long weekend!

Tonight Randi has popped out to Valencia, and I’m supposed to be joining her tomorrow with a fully caught-up blog, so what you’re reading now are the panicked writings of someone trying to keep his promises intact. Let’s start by rolling back a few weeks to a Friday night at Paddington station, where – after teaching Randi the trick to coax free tap water from the vending machine which is desperate to upsell you on a water bottle – we joined my mum on a delightful journey to Hereford. Originally we had planned to go on Saturday morning, but made this last-minute change to avoid the strike… and after all, as someone once said, nothing beats the Friday evening feeling of catching a train out of London to begin a weekend adventure. (Me. I said it. Last post.)

En route to Hereford
En route to Hereford

We had a few small wedding errands to run, but mostly the trip was just an excuse to hang out and enjoy spending more time in the place where we will soon be getting married (again). In fact, the other night we had our first stab at the part of the process I’ve been most looking forward to – the seating planning – and I can confirm that few other moments in my life have given me the almost-godlike feeling of shuffling people around the Google Sheet to produce the perfect arrangement. Would recommend.

A dog skips through a frighteningly dried-up river
A dog skips through a frighteningly dried-up river

On Sunday we made it home in time to watch the Euros final at my mum’s, which was a good mixture of genuine excitement plus not-actually-having-to-watch-penalties plus actually managing to squeeze onto the Jubilee line home afterwards, despite everyone coming out of Wembley at the same time. (Apropos football: Randi and I were also strangely captivated by the first episode of a new Channel 4 documentary series, Football Dreams: The Academy, following the children and young adults going through Crystal Palace’s Academy system… worth checking out.) Later in the week I popped back west for drinks with my uncle Andrew near Imperial Wharf station, although – as you might expect – we talked mostly politics over football, with occasional overlap.

Some appreciation for the delicious free cupcakes we were given by a local shop to celebrate Jamaican Independence Day the other week
Some appreciation for the delicious free cupcakes we were given by a local shop to celebrate Jamaican Independence Day the other week

Since then we’ve just had a fun couple of summer weeks, including a lovely Saturday afternoon playing boardgames with Kira. This included, amongst others, our old favourite Carcassonne and new favourite Welcome To – the latter having a very satisfying feeling and a format which is competitive without being in-your-face competitive. We also spent an evening hanging out at Canary Wharf – lured there by the Elizabeth Line, obviously – and spent a more philosophical night closer to home drinking wine till late in our neighbour Angela’s back garden. (I mean, to be clear, Angela was also there with us… we didn’t just break in.) Incidentally, for anyone trying to relive their uni years, spending time with your neighbours is the best way of conjuring that feeling of being able to end an evening and go to bed without travelling anywhere.

On Sunday, we spent the day with Josh, Anna and Cora in their glorious garden – thrillingly equipped with a paddling pool – and I taught Cora the game of “wake up sleeping Dom with cuddly toys over and again” which she fully enjoyed. But I want to conclude a week earlier, on the Sunday before, when Randi, Simon, Fleur, Cleo, Steve, Soo-Jin and I gathered at Japes for a symbolically important order of deep-dish pizza. This place is seared in my mind because, back in March 2020, it was the last totally normal social thing we did before lockdown, so it felt good to all be together again, laughing at Randi’s attempt to order a deep-dish pizza without any of the mozzarella. (“The chef sent me back to say it can’t be done! It will burn!” “Tell him it can be done… he did it two years ago!”)

Cardiff channelling Ipoh
Cardiff channelling Ipoh

Last weekend we spent a gorgeously sunny weekend in Cardiff – a place which Randi has now totally fallen in love with and is angling to move to, despite my warnings that the weather might not always be so spectacular. Still, nothing beats the Friday evening feeling of catching a train out of London to begin a weekend adventure, and although I’d been to Cardiff once before my main/only memory of the city was hanging out at the Torchwood fountain. This time, we stayed in an Airbnb in the trendy Pontcanna area, and we were both impressed by the massive expanse of rolling parks which surround the banks of the River Taff nearby.

The riverbank reminded Randi of Yellowstone
The riverbank reminded Randi of Yellowstone
Lunching at the "home of the unauthentic taco"
Lunching at the “home of the unauthentic taco”
Cardiff Castle
Ducklings on the river
Ducklings on the river
Forests on our path into town
Forests on our path into town
Settling down to read in Thompson's Park
Settling down to read in Thompson’s Park
Spending time with Tom, Demelza and Ralph!
Spending time with Tom, Demelza and Ralph!

Our primary purpose for visiting was to spend time with Randi’s former colleague, Tom, and his family. After meeting up near the castle, we caught a boat/bus down to Cardiff Bay, walked along the coast, stared enviously at people with tickets to the Aqua Park (basically a bigger and better version of the infamous WoahZone on Lake Michigan which we also failed to get into) before making up for it with ice cream sundaes. Finally, Tom, Demelza and Ralph invited us back to their house for a highly impressive barbecue production, over which- since we’re basically all transport nerds – we all swapped notes on Geoff Marshall videos. Thanks, guys!

The other surprising thing to note about Cardiff was that somehow we fell into eating delicious Mexican American food – not once, but twice! Not only did we enjoy the “unauthentic” (but still delicious) tacos at La Pantera, but for breakfast on Sunday morning Randi scouted out the American diner-themed Hard Lines café, complete with breakfast burritos and by far the best huevos rancheros Randi has found this side of the Atlantic.

All the talk of buckling steel on the railways made us question whether we’d actually be able to get home on Sunday, but thankfully (or regretfully) we did make it home before the extremes of the heatwave on Monday and Tuesday this week. It wasn’t unbearable (thanks to our fan) but we still celebrated Tuesday evening’s rainfall with a bottle of white wine on Blythe Hill. Today we were back to pleasantly-sunny-but-not-absurd temperatures, prompting Randi and I to lie and read in Hampstead Heath for a bit before moseying down to the other exciting part of this post: this afternoon’s escape room adventure, Underground 2099, set in the abandoned South Kentish Town tube station!

Success!
Success!

An escape room in a disguised Underground station was my extremely well-targeted birthday present from mum, Tash and Cormac this year, and as a group we were in boisterous enough spirits during the orientation that our game master seemed a little taken back. (“I’ve never seen a group start arguing about Tube facts before the game has actually started… I don’t know whether I love you or hate you.”) However, once the game got going we settled down into some excellent teamwork to defeat the radioactive King Rat in a time-travelling trip to a post-apocalyptic 2099. It was a lot of fun, and I’m thrilled that we actually succeeded in our quest with barely a minute and a half spare, although I’m not ashamed to say that I jumped more than once as the mutant hordes advanced. London Supper Club 1, Rats 0.